Fiction so Bad It's Good

I just came across the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and if you want a good laugh you should really check it out. The goal of the contest: write a single sentence of awful prose. Here's last year's winner, by Jim Guigli of Carmichael, CA: Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean. Be sure to visit the Sticks and Stones page to read unintentionally bad writing found in published works. Here's an example from Danielle Steele's Star: She wore a dress the same color as her eyes her father brought her from San Francisco.